How Many Types of Codependency Are There?
Similar to everything else in life, relationships should have a healthy balance. There needs to be equal giving and taking from each partner to make sure a relationship has a good balance. Sure, there might be times when things are off for one reason or the next. Sometimes, one partner needs to do more giving, depending on what the other has going on. Typically, after things calm down for one person, the balance is restored.
There is a type of relationship, however, that does not have an even playing field. Known as codependent relationships, each partner has a different role they play. One person will give more of their time and attention to taking care of their significant other's care. The other will take advantage of this, but not give anything in return.
Just because a relationship is codependent does not mean it can't change for the better. However, knowing the different types of codependency in a relationship can make a big difference in understanding how to make these changes. Let's go over the different types of codependent relationships.
Passive
When someone is considered passive, they will do anything they can to avoid conflict. More often than not, this person has low self-esteem. Even though their partner may be manipulative and controlling, they'll stay in the relationship. This can even apply to staying with a partner who is emotionally or physically abusive.
Just because someone is passive, however, does not mean that they are innocent when it comes to being in a codependent relationship. This type of codependent personality will try to secretly use control strategies to influence their partners' actions.
Active
This type of codependent personality is typically seen as the more controlling and manipulative partner. They are also more likely to be seen as a narcissist, which is a person who believes everything should revolve around them. Unlike their passive partner, they are not afraid of conflict and will be the ones to start fights instead of avoiding them.
The active codependent will usually be the person whose needs and wants are always put first above anything else. You can almost say that an active codependent personality demands their partner only consider their needs. They want their partner to change everything about themselves to conform to their own characteristics.
Dealing With Codependency
Now that we know the different types of codependent personalities, let's go over why codependency is a problem and how to cope with it. While each type is different in terms of its style, they can both be equally manipulative. The difference is an active codependent personality type will show their manipulation on the surface, while the more passive person will use more secretive means. Each person ultimately believes that the other will eventually just cave in and give in to their own demands 100%.
Maybe you recognize some of the above characteristics in your relationship. And that can be really alarming, especially when you never recognized your relationship as a codependent one. But the great news is, that codependency, while challenging to deal with, is something that can be overcome. It's challenging and hard to admit that your relationship is codependent. But in all honesty, it is more common than most people believe. It just takes effort and hard work from both partners to turn the relationship into a healthy and balanced one.
If you are fed up with being controlled by your partner, or you realize you are the one doing damage to it, there is hope that it can change. Therapy for codependency can help you move forward together and transform each other for the better. Feel free to contact us to find out more.
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